Raccoon Jay's Official Blog.

FOLLOW Raccoon Jay's official blog at www.raccoonjay.blogspot.com

this is...

Chapter 1: Wait, Pt. 1

I’m waiting down by the railway tracks because you’re not on time

Or maybe I am just too late; I’ve got a lot on my mind

I’m waiting ‘round for your intervention. Won’t you hijack my life?

Because nothing’s left but the autopilot and we’re running short on time.

Baby, won’t you wait or, at least, just stick around?

Breathe your breath of discontent and I’ll be bent to pitch my tent on solid ground.

You look at me and instantly my head’s erased of all the chicks before.

You’re the one I want to chase.

I chase you through the field at sundown, but your family’s got to leave.

I’ve got something to give you; won’t you please wait for me?

This is it, girl: the moment I’ve waited for.

We’re stargazing in the pickup truck and you see a shooting star.

Radiohead plays “High and Dry.” You are all that’s on my mind.

-----

The barn is burning down the road; I guess it’s better luck next time…

Chapter 2: I’m Only Twenty

I wake up.

Who am I?

Where is this place?

I find a trail of post-it notes.

One on the door that says my name, and my wife, Annie, is in the hall…

…been married for fifty-one years.

The hairs on my head grow thin as I sing this song to you.

I’m only twenty but I’ve got a lot to prove.

Could this be the real thing or another waste of time?

Yeah, I’m only twenty, but I’m a quarter past my life.

No-Man’s Land

I used to dream that someday I would fly back home

And this rusty swing would be my launch pad.

But before I could my mom would call me in for bed,

And it was always better luck next time.

Chapter 3: Pleasant Shades of Color

It was the summer of ’08 and we laid there wasted on the lake

In a boat that your dad had lent us.

I started rugby to justify when I came home with a blackened eye

I asked for trust and you asked me “Why?”

Now everyone knew you had a thing for real-tough guys that would treat you mean.

I was too scrawny then to bother.

And it wasn’t until one day after school when I saw you crying by the pool, when I swore that one day I would save you.

Your black and blue looks up at me.

You say it’s not so bad.

It bleeds a pleasant shade of color.

I got into street fights at the start. I got beat up a lot, but I still stayed sharp.

Eventually, all would bet against me.

But right after I got my first pay, they started flashing switchblades in the fray.

So I left street fighting forever.

Now it had been a while since he hurt you, but that didn’t mean anything to me.

He messed with the wrong guy now. So I followed him to the parking lot at three…

And I said:

Do you know Sammy Bates?

He said, “Not the name, but I’d know the face because I was the one to rough it up.”

So I shattered every facial bone I found with my broken fist; I went to town.

So he would remember me forever.

Mine is complementary to your own. And, yes, it looks that bad.

But, Sammy, it was worth the look.

Chapter 4: Hands Like Guns

I try to call you but you don’t call back, but your feel is the feeling I’ve been trying to have.

And I’ve grown so numb from missing you so much that I heartattack

When you tell me that this love is too much to ask. But you won me over in a weekend.

We went to the drive-in on a double date. Tommy took the truck bed with a girl named Kate.

And they made their hands like guns to shoot the stars back in place.

And you and me broke in the front bench with a music-blasting lip embrace.

I heard your friends found out on Monday night and started talking about you and I.

And I heard you cry over the phone. I was a sorry sight.

And that’s when you left me far behind. But I won you over in a weekend.

Chapter 5: Zer0

And then you wake up beneath that old, familiar sky

That we grew up under in a sleeping bag.

You look immortal, and days later I try to make believe

That I could relive and just go back.

You call me a zer0 as if I didn’t know that what you mean is that I can’t do anything…

…but I can do anything.

Don’t leave me solo and so alone when the summer comes

Because when you’re M.I.A. my world just ain’t the same. It just ain’t the same.

I’ll build your dream home under that same familiar sky

And we’ll like a little like how it used to be.

We’ll start a new life together, and, honey, I don’t give a shit about the fine print

And those bills don’t bother me.

I see you crying in the bathroom mirror.

And all those chemicals wash down your face.

This is the fine print*.

We’ve become zer0s as if I didn’t know  that what you mean is that we can’t do anything…

…but we can do anything.

Don’t leave me solo and so alone when the summer comes

Because when you’re M.I.A. my world just ain’t the same.

But then some morning we’ll wake up under that same sky

And something won’t be right…

We’ll grow too old to keep all these memories alive.

And I’ll be lost.

I’ll be a zer0.

No-Man’s Land

Ten years later when I met the girl this album’s for

I thought together we could fly back home.

But before we could she dumped me after our first kiss

For a disco-playing clot that I abhorred.

Another highway romance.

Chapter 6: In the Quicksand

Cleats on the concrete. Dust. He kicks his feet.

He sees everything.

Knuckles bleed. He licks them so she doesn’t see

Because mom has got enough on her plate

To feed a third-world country.

The swarm is closing in on me but I’m not ready.

There he stands in the shadow of a ferris wheel.

Two tickets clutched tight… waiting for his turn.

He learns to pray the hard way.

He’s waiting for that day to come.

He doesn’t want to walk home. No daylight left to burn.

Mother cries quietly in the corner. Careful not to wake the kids but

He hears everything.

The ants

Swarm around an earthworm and he tries to pulverize them

Until his knuckles bleed.

The swarm is closing in on me but I’m not ready.

We sink

In the quicksand.

The more we try to fight the fast we go down.

But sink…

Annie, I would sink to you if only just to hold your hand

And see this end with you…

Chapter 7: Wait, Pt. 2

The barn is burning down the road; we’re almost out of time.

I’ve gotta go. Won’t you come with me? I’ve got a lot on my mind.

The truck stalls but we don’t give up. We could maybe save a life.

Because I could see nothing clearly.

Annie, won’t you wait?

Because without you I would drown.

In this sea of crooked fate, I won’t be late

Because you got me tied to solid ground.

The waves… they crash together.

.~~~~~~~~~~~.

You start to scream but the screaming stops

When you see I’m by your side.

The seat drips and the glass… it glitters.

““High and Dry” is ending now. Outside it’s 83°.

            Our team is down by four at half

                 In the playoff rivalry.

                     A local barn has caught on fire. The time is 9:08.

                        We’ll update you further… but now let’s

                            Cut to commercial break.”

Chapter 8: Truth

Red-striped no-sleeve, you’re the apple of my eye.

Running through the sprinklers.

Weathered jean-skirt shuffling down the parking lot.

Head bowed, eyes downcast.

I want to live a life that doesn’t feel so cold.

So stop showing me skin, and start showing me soul.

Black boots walking up and down the theatre aisle.

Head turned away from me.

Foolish angel, tempting me to do you harm.

But you can’t command me so.

Annie, I know you’re out there, and I can’t wait until I see you.

But when I do, be true to me, and I’ll believe in truth.

Chapter 9: Sick

God, I give in. Her heart is way too far from me.

I’ve pinned my heart onto this upholstery.

Cash in to the life I’ve secured for myself.

Missing your love, your notice. Don’t mind me; I’ll get over it.

I look for ways that I can see you once again.

Your voice it plays over again inside my head.

Fight. It’s all you can do for yourself.

The sight of you sets fire to me every time.

That time it grew so cold we went out dancing on the ice.

Your love, your notice. Don’t mind me; I’ll get over it.

But I can’t get over it.

My condition is getting worse please show me out.

Girl, I’m sick for you.

(The storm)

No-Man’s Land

My Grandpa knew that I was made to fly back home

So he gave me what became my space-ship.

It was a rusty red Ford F-100 truck,

But I drove it out of fear into the frozen lake.

Chapter 10: Isolated

I still keep your bracelet wrapped around my stickshift

And since yesterdays wake, the world’s been a little hard to lift.

But I still keep it there and take it for those long drives

Like on New Year’s Eve when we waited for the first snow to arrive.

Out on that frozen lake, it’s give or take and we took everything.

Wrapped in blankets, I won’t forget… I can’t forget a thing.

And when the snowflakes came at 4 A.M. our frozen lips did lock…

…or was it five o’clock?

I don’t ever want to see the world with a pair of old, forgetful eyes.

I always want to remember those faces and familiar places that came into my life.

This world bleeds black and blue, and if you knew, you’d say a prayer or two.

But you’re short on time.

Now you and me have yet to see the world together.

And it’ll be quite some time before I stand in line at the gates of gold and luster.

I know I read somewhere that angel eyes are blind to mortal hurt.

But there is still some hope in these four chords that you could share my world.

I watch an earthworm start a trek across the great divide.

The swarm, it closes in and all grows dim; the worm’s engulfed alive.

Ever since that night I messed up, I can’t even get a wink of sleep.

How could I forgive myself when I was in the driver’s seat?

Epilogue

And you wake up scared, clutching a vacant pillow.

Because I’m not there.

And I miss your prayers; you used to say them every night

When you believed they brought me back to life.

And when I passed away, you stopped putting on your makeup

And coloring your hair.

And the autumn air… it soothes you now and then,

But you’re still scared.

And the house we built, I never burned it down.

I just let it stand.

And my space ship lands whenever I get home.

But I’m not home… yet.

And I never crashed,

And you never weren’t,

And I never was…

…yet.